Daddy Issues Part 3. Failure.

Daddy issues part 3

The third part to this story is a bit over due. I guess I’m still struggling with deadlines. Suffice it to say that I am very concerned about the emotional wellbeing of my eldest daughter, Lizzie. Journal, in my last entry to you, I attached a photo of my Elizabeth sleeping in her bed, firmly holding Zoe Zebra- pronounced “Zeh-Ber-ruh” …thanks Peppa.

I wake up to a few tiny toes lodged in my spine. It’s the next morning… barely. 5 AM. I also notice that I am cold. I am able to determine without waking fully, that the toes in my vertebrae are attached to a tiny foot. That tiny foot is attached to my tiny daughter. And the other foot has shoved all the covers and the top sheet to the bottom of the bed. Without gaining too much consciousness, I reach down, grab the sheet and blanket with both hands and spring my way back up to the headboard with a fluid motion. I hugged my side of the bed which I know and love. I don’t have much territory on this earth, but one place that I have claimed to be my own and NO ONE ELSE’S. Tis a portion of mattress in my bed which is about 14 inches wide by 5 feet long. My feet hang off the end due to sleeping in the fetal position, but it is MINE.

I fought for a good 12 minutes before Kimmy called it. Nursery Rhymes (read- hymns to Mephistopheles) blasted from a television connected to an extremely overqualified HiFi system. I gave up and got dressed. Off to Target! We were out of eggs. I pushed the cart. Lizzie protested a bit, but eventually allowed it. Maybe Daddy would buy her a surprise, I needed to keep her on her toes. After we got home from target, cleaning time came about. The den needed to be organized. Lizzie’s toys had to find their toy box, otherwise they would get lost trying to find their way home. That would be just tragic, wouldn’t it? Imagine a world without a bunch of little Hatchimals scattered about the floor, waiting in the dark, to terrorize bare feet.

Of course, a potty break had to be made as soon as we got home. The ceremonial utterance came to us after she was done. Though that day, it came with a slight alteration.

“I need someone to Wipe me.”

Silence…

“Daddy!”

No. I haven’t dealt with this since she was in diapers. Mommy was her person for everything, this was a Mommy duty, I couldn’t get near her while Lizzie was taking care of business, if I offered, she would usually scream! My mind started racing. How to I wipe her? Front to back? Back to front? Side-Side Mr. Miyagi’s voice came to my mind,

“Left side road- safe. Right side road, safe. Go down middle… squish like grape.”

I haven’t seen this operation since she was in diapers!!! I meekly responded,

“One Minute, Honey…”

“KIMMY, She wants ME. What do I do? What do I do?”

Kimmy Looks back at me, “ I Dunno, Go tell her to bend over and just…”

“Just What?”

“Well, clean her.”

“Kayyy…”

Journal, what happened immediately after, I will not detail. But after that… something very unprecedented happened. She stood back up, turned around and looked at me right in the eyes and said, “Okay. I love you now.” Then she looked back down and picked up her pants before proceeding to wash her hands.

I should have left it there. But i made up my mind to take on a challenge that night. Bath time is a difficult time for Lizzie. She has anxiety about getting soap in her eyes. Therefore washing her hair is quite the ordeal. I decided to tackle it. We talked about it first, I let her wash my hair. I went through the process of getting the shampoo out, wetting my head, using the shampoo. I finished the night with a ringing in my ears, a black eye, smelling like My Little Pony shampoo, and defeated. I couldn’t help but feel a little cheated that she got to wash daddy’s hair but I didn’t get to wash hers, she ended up jumping out of the bath and running to the other end of the house dripping wet. Looking at the sunny side, I decided to make the most of it.

I had a bath full of strawberry-scented hot water just sitting there, I had multiple rubber duckies at my disposal, Heck I needed to unwind anyway. Why let it go to waste? At the end of the night I still couldn’t explain why I ever transitioned to showers. Now rainbow dash lives next to Daddy’s shampoo.